


A Man Can Break

by Morse_s Child (sherlockstummy)



Category: Inspector Morse (TV)
Genre: M/M, biromantic!morse, but robbie makes it better, marilyn - Freeform, morse's sad past, otp: yours aye, polyamorous!lewis, tw: Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:32:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockstummy/pseuds/Morse_s%20Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robbie decides to comfort Morse after the death of his niece. More of my romantic Morse/Lewis ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Man Can Break

It was one night when Robbie decided that the point of being lovers was to understand and share each other’s pain. In the dark, safely surrounded by Morse’s arms, providing him comfort after a few long, dreadful cases that broke the optimistic light in his eyes, Robbie decided that he had broken down enough, and it was time to let Morse do a little of that.

“What you said, after…after Marilyn,” Robbie knew he had to begin slowly, because even just at the mention of that name, Morse stiffened, because all of the pain associated with that name came vividly back to him the moment it rolled off Robbie’s tongue. Robbie could never say “Marilyn” or “Susan” without igniting such a response. “I need to know. Did you really…I mean…” The words died on his lips, and he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing anymore. Morse had taught him that digging his shovel too deep into the past would only spring a geyser of blood. But he had to know, because there was something to be fixed here. And if he could fix it, maybe Morse would feel better, and stop being so sad.

“What about?” Morse said warily.

“Your family.” Robbie replied, and felt the arms wrapped around him wrap tighter. He nuzzled into Morse’s chest, his ear close enough to hear how Morse’s heartbeat had picked up. He tilted his head up to kiss at Morse’s chin, the only part of Morse’s face he could reach. “Please. I love you. I just want you to feel better.”

Morse chuckled, leaning down to kiss Robbie tenderly. “You can’t fix the past, Robbie.” His eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“Talking will help.”

Morse sighed. “You know about what you need to know. I wanted to die. That’s the gist of it. I wanted to die because I wasn’t loved, or accepted. I became smart because that was the only thing I could do. My education became the cloak I could shield myself with, to protect against her.” He shook his head. “Robbie, you were loved. Your parents never fought. Mine did. I lost my mother when I was quite young; too young, but you’re never ready. Not long after that, I lost my father. Joyce was all I had.”

“You never told me what Marilyn was like.” Robbie said gently, reaching his hand up to stroke through Morse’s hair. “You just waltzed off to Italy without so much as a goodbye a week after they buried her.”

“I’m sorry.” Morse kissed the tip of Robbie’s nose, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling. “I know that upset you. It wasn’t my intention. And they left you with some sub-par colleague of mine, no doubt.”  
Robbie hugged Morse tight. “I miss you whenever you go away.”

“If I had my way, we’d stay here in my bed forever.” Morse kisses him again, but there is a twinge of sorrow in his statement. “You want to know about Marilyn.”

Robbie nodded, resting his head close to Morse’s on the pillow.

“She reminded me of myself in a lot of ways. Too smart for her age, and suffering for it. When she was little, the other kids laughed at her.” Morse sighs. “I loved her like you love your children, Robbie. I loved her too much. Maybe that’s why she was taken from me.” He closed his eyes, and Robbie watched some tears fall. “She wasn’t strong enough, and I couldn’t be enough for her.”

“It’s not your fault she died, love,” Robbie soothed, hugging Morse close as he cried reluctant sobs. “She loved you. How could anyone not? You’re so kind and good. She just…” He hesitated, pressing kisses to Morse’s forehead as he calmed, strong arms holding the older man close. Morse clung to his undershirt like a lifeline. “Kids…are stupid. And they do stupid things they regret. Lyn’s at that age, now. Thinks she knows everything, thinks she knows better than her mum and me.” He waited for Morse to correct him, but when none of that was forthcoming, he went on. “Marilyn didn’t die because of something you or her parents did. She was impulsive, like you, and she made a mistake. That’s all. I know it hurts that she’s gone, and I know that you wanted the best for your sister’s kids, but…” He bites his lip, thinking. “But kids are ungrateful. They’ll do their own thing regardless.”

Morse smiled against Robbie’s chest. “Thank you, Robbie.”

“Do you feel better yet?”

“I feel a right fool for crying.”

The two men laughed. “Tea?” Morse asked at length.

Robbie nodded. “Maybe with a shot of something stronger in it.”

Morse laughed, and Robbie felt a smile spread across his face. There was no sweeter music than Morse’s laughter.

“All right, get up, then. Let’s see what I can find. I haven’t got much in.”

“Nah, I’ve given up hope on that by now.”

Morse pulled on his bathrobe. “Thank you, Lewis.”

Robbie wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist. “Anytime, Sir.”


End file.
